On day 12 we celebrated one week since Gotcha Day.  Our entire group had to load back onto the bus in order to get the required physical exams before our children could be approved for US visas to enter the country. Think about taking a child to their first doctor appointment, but not being able to speak in  her language to console her.  Think about the stress and trauma, now multiply it by nine.  Nine because there were nine children in our group who had to be examined at three stations and several that had to have blood drawn for TB tests.  

The night before, Little Li had been fussy and was running a slight fever (which I knew wouldn’t be good for the day!)  I gave her a little tylenol before bed and made sure she had plenty of liquids and prayed the fever would go down.  Thankfully she acted fine the next morning.  It would likely have delayed us, because our guide on the bus the next day asked  if anyone had a fever before leaving.  Once again, whew!

We started on the first floor in order to take visa photos.  If you have been following the blog, you know that the passport photo didn’t go well.  We were holding our breath, because it could be a long morning for all the families involved if any of the little ones refused to cooperate.  When it was our turn I stepped up and set her on the chair.  She sat there and they took her picture.  It took less than a minute.  No muss, no fuss! Double whew!

Alcohol Vending Machine on 1st Floor (?)

The medical office was directly across from the consulate and staffed by personnel approved by the American Government.  The floor was packed with people waiting, but we were ushered to a special wing of the floor marked off especially for adoptive families.  

Mickey mouse was imprinted on the floor and the lighting was literally shaped like clouds to try to create a welcoming atmosphere.  (As welcoming as a doctors visit can be, anyway.)  Families rotated in to the following stations:  #1 -height, weight and temperature #2 – Eyes, Nose, Throat #3 – General Physical Exam.  We got through the first few stations pretty quick.  The physical exam seemed to go fine, but then the doctor spoke to us and led us back to station 2 to sit down again.  He had the ENT look at her again.  He then scribbled out some of his previous writing and changed her record.  We asked our guide to go back to with us to speak to them so we could understand what was happening.  (Our guide Jason ROCKS!) It turns out that they were documenting her eyesight which appears to have some nystagmus.  

Then because she is over the age of two, a blood draw for TB was required.  They took her out of my arms and wouldn’t let us go in with her. (Ugh..)  The only bright spot here was at least we didn’t have to be part of the drama of holding her down and got to be the arms of safe haven when she came out.  She actually reached for me!  That in itself was a victory!

We opted out of the group activity for the evening and spent the time back at the hotel resting.  Even though Jason had warned us about slow service, we ventured into a very large restaurant called the Food Shops with English menus.  We were seated quickly.  Then waited. And waited. And waited. (Now with two very hungry girls.) Hubby, also known as Mr. Patience (not) got tired of waiting and had us get up. We left and went to the restaurant where we eat breakfast every morning. Our waitress understood almost no english, but we finally got an order placed.  Mimi ordered a club sandwich with no lettuce, mayo or tomato (in order to avoid tummy troubles associated with any raw vegetables washed in the water here.)  In essence, it was a turkey sandwich.  The manager came out (sure that our non-english speaking waitress had gotten it wrong) to confirm the order.  She gave Mom a look I will never forget!  As she walked away, Mom said ‘You think I could ask her back in order to get a little mustard?’  The look on my tired face must have said it all.  She laughed and said ‘Never mind.’  

We finished our meal and headed back to our room to call it a day.he has begun to open up to all of us, including Mimi.  For days she has cried every time Mom has gotten close.  (She is terrified of strangers.) On Day 12, she actually let Mom get on her other side and hold both our hands to walk down the hall.  What amazing progress in just a week.  I continue to be amazed at her resilience and adaptability.  So excited to see what the coming days will bring. Thanks for sticking with us.

Your Friend,

Meredith

LLI

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Day 10 – The first airplane ride

A smile as we land in Guangzhou

Within a week, the little lives we have been charged with have gone from having almost no contact with the outside world, to the breakfast buffet at the Hilton and then a ride on what might as well be a huge metal bird in their little eyes. The purpose of the stay in Zhengzhou was to finish all the paperwork required for the Chinese government for the adoption. With the completion of Little Li’s passport, it was now time to move on to Guangzhou in order to head down the American side of the paperwork mountain (insert audible sigh…) I think its safe to say that none of us were excited to board the plane to head to Guangzhou.  While it moved us closer to our goal of getting home, we now had nine additional children in our care to move through airport security. We knew it was inevitable that one family was probably in for a major meltdown mid-air.  It was just a matter of who it would be.  The nice thing was that we knew we were in it together, and would have at least six other sympathetic families on the flight.

  Imagine 15 adults, 13 children and 7 carts FULL of luggage moving through an airport security check.  Now add the fact that we don’t speak the language.  The line doesn’t move quickly!  Thankfully our guides Yisha and Vivian were at our side to help us through the process.  Thanks to Mom’s small set of travel scissors, I think she now has an official record with the equivalent of the Chinese TSA.  (She must not have looked too threatening, because we FINALLY got through and they even gave her the scissors back.)

From there we boarded the shuttle bus out to the plane.  Most of of the airports we have been to do not have direct boarding into the terminal.  You board a bus to get on (and off) the plane.  For families that means you get to load the the carry-on luggage, strollers and children TWICE for every leg of the journey.  Yay!  (insert sarcasm..)

With the exception of a spilled drink and the ever present threat of boredom for little Hulaloo, our flight was pretty smooth.  Hubby and Mimi sat together while I sat with the girls.  I had an arsenal of treats and activities for take off and landing, but really didn’t need much.  She did great.  She even smiled and clapped when we landed. (I think she may have an adventurous spirit.)  Whew! We were not the family with the meltdown, although our group definitely had one.

Jason our guide for Guangzhou was waiting for us and filled us in on some facts about the city as we made our way to our home for the week. Guangzhou is in southern China and not far from Hong Kong (which only has 9 million people.) It has a very tropical climate and is currently in what is called the rainy season.  Guangzhou is the 5th largest city in China. It is called home by 19 million natives and another 10 million that have chosen to move  here.  The total is 29 million.  To put that in perspective, New York city has about 8.5 million, total.    NYC is  a little village compared to this place!

Guangzhou is the last stop for all Americans adopting in China.  While there are a few US embassies in China, only the consulate in Guangzhou processes visas.  It is the busiest visa center in the world.  It processes on average 2000 A DAY.  Earlier this summer they had computer issues for four days which put them about 10,000 visas behind.  They are still catching up.

Our primary focus while here will be to get a physical exam, a visa and then be sworn in as a citizen.  Much to do, but much to gain! Time is flying by, but we are also excited to get home as soon as we can.

Until next time!

Your Friend,
Meredith

Getting ready to leave

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Imagine being completely unable to care for yourself.  You live in a world where you cry, but nobody comes  to your side when you cry.  (Not because they don’t care, but because there are too many little cries in the night to console.) Now imagine the grief and stress of being thrust into a completely different world and separated from the only family you have ever known.  Add to that being unable to communicate with those around you.  You speak, but they don’t understand.  They speak but it sounds like gibberish to you. What do you do?  You learn to cry silently. Because being loud doesn’t get you anywhere.

And that’s what I saw that has shocked me more than anything since I have been in China.  I have never seen a tired, scared two year old NOT bellow with indignation and expect the adults around him or her to bow to their every need.  That’s what what we do in the USA. Right?  Families in the USA teach our kids that we will at least try to meet their basic needs. They learn to ask (and often demand) at an early age.  

Yesterday (Day 7,) we were so exhausted from the day before that we stayed at the hotel most of the day to rest. I put one girl on each side of me on our big fluffy bed just to rest and snuggle for a moment.  I looked to my left and was suprised to see that our Little Li was sitting up beside me with tiny tears streaming down both cheeks. She was not making a single sound.  Not even a whimper. She was just suffering silently.  The exhaustion and confusion from the past few days had finally overwhelmed her little soul.  i gently scooped her up in my arms and we rocked for a bit before she nodded off to sleep.

The same thing happened again today when the girls were playing at a small play set inside the hotel.  The small plastic swing hit her on the chin.  A typical US toddler would have wailed and run to Momma.  She stood there and bit her lip processing how much it hurt.  I want her to know that I hear her and I see her pain.  So even though she didn’t want or demand it, I walked over and knelt down in front of her and kissed her boo boo.  I hope that someday in the near future she WILL bellow like a typical American toddler. It will mean that she trusts us. (Dear friend, I may need you to remind me that I said that!)

It would be easy to only write about the joys of this road we are traveling, but the reality is the road will be hilly with many peaks and valleys.  The view will always be beautiful. Thanks for joining me on the journey.

Your Friend,

Meredith

LLI

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On day 6 the adoption was finalized in China!  She is officially ours. We started the day with boundless energy and excitement then ended by practically crawling through the hotel lobby to our room.  It was a day of memorable moments and once-in-a-lifetime opportunities.  In the words of the Dead Poet’s Society, Carpe Diem!  Seize the day . The day was physically exhausting, but we were determined to see her orphanage and finding spot in order to capture as much of her past as we could.  Let me start at the beginning to give you perspective..

9:00 am – The entire group loaded on to the bus and headed back to the office of civil affairs.

This is the same office where we received custody.  Our guide Yisha warned us that the trauma of the previous day might spark crying and emotional responses in our children.  Our pint size army of kids were troopers!  Not a peep from any of them.  We were greeted by an offical who expressed appreiation to us and then called our family’s name.  We went forward and were handed an official adoption certificate.  (We also found out that the registration office is in flux and are in the process of determining new rates for paperwork charges.  Since it hasn’t been finalized, we weren’t charged at all.  BONUS! That would never happen in the USA. Double bonus for the two families adoptioing two kids.)

9:45 am –  The entire group headed on the bus to the notary office.  We had to park a block away due to road construction and then walk up SIX flights of stairs to the notary office.  (Dear friend, think about how many small children we had in tow.  It was no small task! No need to head to the gym after that.) The good news is my fitbit shows that I burned quite a few calories!

While there we had our picture taken with the notary official.  (Notaries in China appear to be a much bigger deal than the USA.  The fee was pretty high compared to getting it done free in the USA.) This was the first time our little one had made a peep all day.  Quite honestly, I think she may have thought we were giving her back.  We left the expected gift on the table and our entourage headed back down the six flights to our bus to head back to the hotel.

1:00 pm –  The next phase of the process is to obtain passport for the little one to exit the country.  It has to be obtained in the city the child is from.  Our little one is from Luoyang which is a 2.5 hour drive ONE WAY.  There was one other family  with a little girl from the same orphanage, so we all (including Mimi and Hulaloo) piled into a passenger van for the next phase of the journey. We had 4 stops: the passport office, the orphanage and 2 finding spots.  All on different sides of ‘town.’  Luoyang is considered a town  but has a population of over 1.5 million. It took a while in traffic to make it to all the locations. 

Passport Office

3:30 pm – We went first to the passport office and our Little Li got fussy again.  Its a good thing I didn’t understand the potential implications or I might have freaked out.  They wouldn’t take her photo until she stopped crying.  No photo = no passport = delay of EVERYTHING.  One family in our group (at another location) had to try for 3 hours before their little guy would cooperate.  Other families in the past have had to go back on another day. Thankfully before we left the states I learned two chinese children’s songs (in Chinese) and started singing softly in her ear.  She quieted long enough for them to get the photo (runny nose and all.)  Whew! 

4:00 pm – We visited both finding spots of both girls.  I’m not going to say much about her finding spot here.  Its a very personal story that I will leave to her as she gets older.  All I will say is it was very moving to stand in the spot and think about another woman I will never meet and wonder what was in her heart and mind over 2.5 years ago .   Our guide shared with us that very often children are brought to locations far from their birthplaces in order not to risk being recognized.  (It is illegal to abandon a child.) Her spot was a very busy location so her mother took a great risk, but she did it for a reason which I won’t share.   Regardless of the circumstances, I am sure there was love. 

5:00 pm– We went to the orphanage where she has been her whole life. 700 little souls live out their lives under the same roof.  Their futures are uncertain and their need for love and affection was written on every little face we saw.  The orphanage deserves way more attention than just a sentence or two.   I will write more later, so be sure to check back if you are interested in finding out more.

Luoyang Orphanage

6:00 PM – We then started home and everyone was hungry, but our guide and driver wanted to get back.  We stopped at a gas station for snacks and drinks. My bill was 35 RMB (chinese currency) and I gave the clerk a 50.  She gave me 5 back. You do the math.  (I did and it didn’t add up! )  I quickly learned that words were not necessary to solve international financial matters.  A direct glare with a wrist roll and finger point (along with a subliminal message of ‘Oh no you didn’t!’) were enough to get my change returned quickly to my pocket.  I headed out with a nutritious dinner of crescent rolls, cookies and Sprite for my lovely little family for our return trip to Zhengzhou.

8:30 pm – We arrived safely back to our hotel and almost crawled to our room.  We have many stories to tell about the traffic here, but much like the orphanage, I want to do them justice so I will save that for later!

Until tomorrow!

Your Friend,
Meredith 

 LLI

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Day 5 – Gotcha Day

Introducing Mayah Li 

Her file said that she is terrified of strangers.  I can’t imagine anything more terrifying at the age of two than being thrust forever into the arms of strangers who look, smell  and sound different than anyone you have ever seen before.  It takes a girl with gumption to do it without falling to pieces.  In fact, she held up better than i did.  (Add one more female to the rank and roll call of strong Williams women.)
 

We arrived at the civil affairs office at 9:00 am and there were children already waiting for their new families.  We watched five other families receive their children while we and another couple also adopting a girl from the Luoyang orphanage waited.  And waited. And waited. 1.5 hours later (just 30 minutes before the bus was supposed to leave,) we saw the door open. I saw her immediately and practically ran over some of the other little children playing in the middle of the floor to get to her.  (Sorry about that kiddos, i have a one track mind!)  

They dressed her in a beautiful frilly peach colored dress that looked lovely with her her skin tone.  Peaches and cream will always be in season at our house!  Her nanny (pictured below) spoke softly to her, calling her ‘Fei Fei’ as she handed her over to me.  She said something to me in Chinese a couple of times.  I will forever wish that I knew what she was saying, but in the chaos of the moment and the process, there was no translator available to help.  Regardless of the words, I saw gentleness and compassion in her eyes.  That was all I needed to know.

I am going to keep this short for now because I am trying to share info with you my dear friend before the sun comes up over Zhengzhou and two little girls begin to stir and chase the day.  I need more coffee before the next round of paperwork begins! Thank you again for your thoughts and prayers on this exciting, beautiful journey.  It hasn’t peaked yet.  It has only begun.

Your friend,

Meredith

LLI

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From Beijing to Zhengzhou (Pronounced JenJoe)

……to Walmart (where all roads end).

 The next step of our journey was a flight to the capital of little Li’s province where we will see her little face and hold her for the first time.  We got an updated guide which had more detail regarding her specific preferences. When we read the part that she has ‘a strong personality’ hubby just rolled his eyes.   I think perhaps he was hoping for shy this time.  Too late now! He is totally outnumbered.

To put things in perspective, Beijing proper was over 11,000,000 (19 million with suburbs.)  NYC is over 8,000,000.  Zhengzhou is a smaller city with 4,200,000.  All the ‘towns’ here are comparatively huge compared to the USA.  Everything is crowded and congested.  Thankfully our agency CCAI is taking great care of us.

After settling into one of the nicest hotels we have ever been in (surround sound in the bathroom,) we headed as a group to Walmart with our shopping bags and children in tow to buy supplies for the next step which is Gotcha Day!  It was quite an experience!  I find it a little irritating that Walmart in China doesn’t accept credit cards from their own motherland.  Oh well!

Facials at Walmart

Next update will show our newly completed family!

LLI

Meredith

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